It's that moment that hits you and it doesn't feel like a ton of bricks... It actually feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted OFF of you. Let me tell you a little about a few moments I have had recently (that I am still happily wrapping my head around.)
It was just a few days ago and I was cleaning my apartment, summoning Cory to help me and he gladly did, even with a headache. Making a to-do list of what I wanted to get done that week between stuff at home and for my businesses and going though our closet and tossing items into "throw away" or "donation" groups. Vacuuming the best that I could with our little rechargeable vacuum cleaner, deep cleaning the bathroom and tossing old skincare... The list could honestly go on, but I'll stop there because I'm pretty sure you get the point of the whole "it's a new year and I have just GOT to clean this place to have a "fresh start to this new year.""
I got to a point in the evening when I began to slow down and realize how exhausted I was. I finally sat down and was okay with it. I was okay with stopping what I was doing knowing I had a little bit more to go, knowing that I could finish it up tomorrow.
With that being said...
I had just finished telling Cory that the need I had about perfection, the need I had about things in our apartment to be "Pinterest perfect", the need to have every little detail figured out, those "needs" I had, I didn't feel as if I had the "need" for them anymore. You following me, friend? Okay cool, let's keep going...
I already had a little feeling that this year was going to be different and that is exactly what I wanted it to be for me - different. I wanted to do things differently, see new things (if you know me at all, you know I love traveling), try new crafts like calligraphy and learn new photography skills. I wanted to write and read like I did when I was in high school before the adult responsibilities crept up on me and I "didn't feel like I had time" when that's the furthest thing from the truth (because I have been spending my time doing other things like Netflix binging when I could be book binging or drowning myself in a journal.)
It was as if one day my mind was set one way and the next day it changed and I have, for the most part, changed how I am viewing things like work, talking to new people, events that are going on, and so on... Instead of "dreading" these things, I am looking at them with different eyes and a different heart. I am feeling completely inspired for my businesses and the businesses that I am part of. I am dreaming bigger, talking about them, and being more open about dreams than before. I am feeling God in a way that I missed and I know our Relationship will soar to new heights this year as I focus on Him and continue to give Him every bit of my life. I am feeling confident, even in areas that I am only just now learning, because I know that it's okay that I don't know every detail of every little thing.
Needless to say, getting into 2016 I felt a shift and knew I wanted things to be different (things besides my new schedule) and I wanted to stay consistent in this. So, I was prayed for on Monday by someone very dear to my heart. I told her I wanted prayer to stay inspired and to remind myself when I am under attack or feeling weary that I want to be reminded of Him. She prayed for me; for my emotions and feelings and balancing them instead of waiting for the drop to happen. Amazing things were spoken to me as I was told that this year will be my year. That fruit will happen this year. I was immediately reminded of just how great our God is. That He sees us and hears us right where we are and truly cares for the desires of our hearts. There will be time made to be more consistent in the things that I have always wanted to be consistent in. There will be more praying. There will be more reading and writing (so be expecting to hear from me and my heart more in this format.) There will be more spending time with people and loving on them. There will just be more time made to do things and dream bigger instead of waiting for things to happen. Your dreams don't work unless you do, so get to work! Just please... Don't expect perfection out of yourself. You have been made perfect in Jesus Christ. We don't know how to do everything. We don't know how next week is going to pan out on our schedules even though we see it going one way. We don't always understand things the first time we are told and it's okay to ask questions. But what I do know is that I am incredibly loved by an incredible Father in Heaven who sees me, right now, typing this out, and He loves me right where I am. He will love me when I get up to go cook dinner for Cory and I. He will love me as I lay my head down to sleep tonight. And He will be there with me as I start my morning.
So, if you've made it all the way through this novel of a blog post...
Remember - When that moment hits you when it feels like all the bricks have been lifted off... That moment of freedom... That moment when you know that you have no time to be perfect... That moment when you can breathe without feeling the weight of the world on your chest... That moment you KNOW you're meant for more... You'll know. And you'll love it and never want it to end. I know I don't. But I know that I have God in my corner fighting with and for me. So when times get rough, I know just who to bring in.
He's there for you, too. Just open up your heart, look up, and say the name of Jesus. He hears you and is longing for a relationship with you, His dear child!